I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize