i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
