Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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