i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize