What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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