I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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