Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
