TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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