i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
