Pants 0. Shit 1.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize