hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
