whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
