But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
