I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
