btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
