I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
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Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
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Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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