i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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