...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize