You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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