remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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