we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
