I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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