I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
