He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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