i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
