But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
