I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize