don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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