I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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