Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
