Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
