You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
