she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize