you guys were way drunker than both of me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
