Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need a beard to bite.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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