Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
worst night to have a conscience
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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