U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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