Just fell off a train. Bad.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
