at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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