Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
