were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
