and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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