At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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