I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize