It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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