Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
