He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
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The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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