guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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