HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
