need another drink. this is the easiest way
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
