my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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