just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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