at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
