whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
