hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
