Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
