I haven't been this sober since birth.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
